Praises and P45s.

February 2, 2010

Good morning everyone 😉

As I wrote yesterday, I was nowhere near the condition to string a few coherent sentences together without all going effing and blinding. I just thought I would give it a rest, as it would not be pretty. It still won’t be – no ‘whoosah’ rubbish today, I will give it to you as it is…

Outplayed, outclassed, outpaced & outmuscled – did I miss anything? Oh, that would be ‘outjumped’ and ‘outscored’, right? Yet, the transfer window slammed shut at 5 PM yesterday and we made no move. How silly of me, that would be panic buying, wouldn’t it Arsene? What would it do to the poor players’ frail mentality? Not to mention that any chairman with an ounce of brain would skin Gazidis alive in the negotiations and we would pay way over the odds for someone we could have had two weeks earlier for half that price. It’s not rocket science, it’s better to get your new players in sooner, so they could get into the team, train together a bit and make an impact a game or two earlier. Plus, you lower your chances of getting humiliated all over again, this time by the ManYoo understrength team. Now tell me again, why is buying not always the solution?

Whatever you think, they were there for the taking, yet Our Glorious Leader chose to bottle it – I mean, what kind of cowardly team selection was that? Two (well, one and a half) defensive midfielders? Why no Rosicky in the midfield? I ask, what does Denilson have to do to get dropped? Our Brazilian was completely useless throughout the time he was on the pitch – as far as I am concerned, this disgrace to this club should be shipped out to whoever is stupid enough to come calling, and I don’t care about these few goals, brilliant as they were. That is the first P45 from the pile: as far as I am concerned, he was at fault for goals number one (well, with the other two pink slips to be mentioned later) and two for allowing Rooney just run past him. If you think about it, he also lost the ball for them to score the third. Please gaffer, our ‘best scouting network in the world’ cannot find anyone better than THIS? Well, here’s a clue, try looking upwards of the value shelf – when you pay peanuts, you get monkeys and if you buy on the cheap, you are likely to end up buying twice, does that sound reasonable?

Blame injuries. Blame ‘physical approach’. Blame wrong colour of knickers worn by the blonde in the block 87. Well, everyone and everything is to be blamed but me – I know the feeling, really. But I am not paid millions of pounds to manage the best damn club in the whole world, and one would expect better value for money than that. I have nothing but respect for the Big Man, but this has to stop. No more ‘quality’ and ‘mental strength’ spin. No more sitting on your hands and talking to ‘yes man’ Rice. No more buying teenagers for the sake of it. Action!  The place is here and the time is now, and there will always be a bully with money, as these UEFA  regulations about living within own means will have loopholes, make no mistake about that. We needed to spend in order to get more fighters and winners in this team – my hat goes off to numbers 4, 5, 7, 10, 17 & 23, these six looked like you could go to war with them: trying to make something happen and giving the underperforming team mates a bollocking when it was needed. Sagna didn’t do anything shocking either as far as I remember (bar the usual ‘crosses’), so he deserves a pat on the back too. Six golden and one silver star for me, these players deserved better. Special cheers for the returning Verminator for keeping his spirit high and scoring the consolation goal.

This is how you do it, ladies: the rest of the team were absolutely non existent or worse with special donkey ears award for Denilson (P45), closely followed by Almunia (P45), Clichy (P45) and Nasri (must do better). I mean, gentlemen, what the fuck was that? Seriously, if you cannot get yourself fired up for the biggest game of the season, then you may as well not bother: if you don’t bleed red and white, do a decent thing and hand in transfer requests. Hang your head in shame, maybe buy your teammates some watches or other shit to apologise. You, my friends, are currently not fit to wear the shirt, period.

There goes our ‘squad depth’ – I have spent some time disputing it and some people were creaming themselves about getting results against some second rate teams, whilst we got really lucky a few times, as top quality strikers would bury most of the chances we were giving away like it was Christmas. Or were conceding stupid goals at the end of the games. ‘Oh, it’s 4:1, so what’. Sure is, but it’s a sign of weakness regardless of the scoreline: each and every time we faced quality opposition this season we have been obliterated, didn’t that tell you anything? The only ‘big’ game of the season that we have won was against piss poor Scousers after the ‘shock, horror’ of Le Hairdryer during halftime.

Our Glorious Leader, The Professor, was screaming at the poor little children! Well, Arsene, do the maths: one game, one bollocking,  three points compared to three games, no bollocking, zero points and 10 goals shipped. Can you see the pattern? If the carrot doesn’t work, one should be excused for grabbing the stick and whacking the shit out of the donkey, simple as. If heaping praise on the young and developing players combined with paying them stupid amounts of money doesn’t do it, they may need a drill sergeant, could Légion étrangère send us one? Better contract? Put your back into it and earn it, son. They all speak French too! Some of these players require a massive kick up the arse for different reasons, or it will be embarrassing at the Bridge. I said before the Villa game that seven points was an absolute minimum, we can still do it!

OK, enough of that ranting, I’ll just wrap it up with saying that I am so deeply disappointed it hurts – I have got a text from my Chelsea supporting mate, that said just ‘oh fuck’. This time there was no usual ‘Ha ha’, and that, dear readers, is saying something…

Thank you for reading! 😉


  1. Suga

    Thats theterm I’ve been looking for, “what does Denilson have to do to get dropped?”

  2. gnarley,

    frustrating, ain’t it? I am all in ‘I told you so’ mode today and there will be more of unforgiving analysis yet to come…

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